I originally intended this piece to be a carefully worded manifesto, full of slightly tongue-in-cheek decorative language and a melodramatic style. I think the topic is important, and I wanted to craft words about it that would really strike a chord with the target audience. Alas, my life is too hectic between flogging my band, toiling in the data mines, and rocking out with my favorite humans [one], [two] to give this topic the kind of attention it deserves, so I'll just give it to you straight.
It doesn't matter which god - when you say "oh my god" you are more than just expressing [dismay/excitement/awe/ecstasy], you are giving a penny to god's campaign fund - cursing by god gives a little legitimacy that the idea of god is an idea worth cursing by, and my personal stance on the matter is that the idea just ain't worth a bucket of warm spit. You wouldn't say "in the name of a bucket of warm spit", would you?
The problem is that swearing has evolved to be an important part of language. It's hard to remove without leaving a scar. I thus propose that we show Logic and Science due respect by using swears that express an awe of the human power to reason out the universe rather than an awe of invisible superheroes living in space. The two I use most often:
The history of human reason is long and colorful - I leave it as an exercise to the reader to come up with science swears just as colorful. The creative cursing in works of Shakespeare might be a good source of inspiration.
Please help spread this important issue - link to this post, or write a better one on the same topic. Spam your friends, or hire a skywriter. If you are Michelle Malkin, denounce me in your next book.
Rob commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
Rand, man, great post. Hume only knows we need better 21st-century swearing.
Mickpedia commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
Oh, Michelle Malkin. I wanna curb that bitch!
the slackmistress commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
I heart you. It was a blast to meet you and your delightful dining companion last night!
-sm
the daniel commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
it was good to meet you as well - you can see darling girlfriend zoe's site at http://biorequiem.com (blog at http://biorequiem.com/chronicle )
erick alleron commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
may god and our saviour jesus christ to continue to bless the wonderful wok of our great spirit and you work on is holy saviors god the most highs work
god bless you
keep up the greatwork
luke dorny commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
But I'll stick with quoting CONAN movie curses.
"BY THE EYES OF CROM!"
Danno commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
I hope this is in jest, because every time I hear a zealot propose something similar, like saying "Heaveno" instead of "Hello", I want to pound my head against a wall until I am bloody and concussed.
Religion need not involve a god.
Also, "God's Arms!" is the greatest curse, EVER. Even if you're Fredrick Nietzsche; it echoes Jax's fatality from Mortal Kombat 2.
Boyd commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
The phrase I really want a replacement for is "There, but for the grace of god, go I". I can't come up with a replacement that has quite the same degree of elegance and concision.
blink commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
"There, but for the whims of the world, go I"
You may have noticed a link to ...
(relevance: 7.7)
zO commented, on December 5, 2007 at 6:23 a.m.:
more options for the public, some of which i've been integrating into my personal vocabulary:
- "oh my cosmos!"
- "o! my knickers!"
- "in the name of the FUTURE!" alternately "in the name of the future!", also sort of works for "oh my future!" [substitute "future" with "cosmos" at will]
- "oh my prefrontal cortex!"
- "what in Einstein's name ?!"
less academic variants:
- "sweet flaming balls!" as my recent post states [n.r. to "sweet darwin's ghost!"]
- lastly -"Dear fuck!" isn't new but gets the job done.